Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Teaser Tuesday

Good morning,

Time for Teaser Tuesday!! I have a scene from my WIP (work in progress) which currently has 5,000 words. It is written in 1st person, male POV (point of view). It's not what I usually write. My friend asked me last Friday night how I come up with stuff because I've never been abused or raped, we were discussing and adult SNI (shiny new idea) and my husband told her I just have a sick mind. Yeah, that's probably it.

I take my supplies to the bloody spot on the floor and peel off a handful of paper towels. I mop up the majority of the blood. I pour the water on and scrub the rest with the rag. I ring out the rag in the now empty bowl. It fills with pinkish water. I continue: scrub, wipe, ring out, over and over until all of the blood is gone.

The back door opens and Dr. Lewis comes quietly in. He knows the routine. I also think he prefers to avoid my father. As I said before, I don’t know what he owes my father. Dr. Burton has been taking care of me since I was seven years old. That is when my mom left. Just up and disappeared one day. The next day was the first time my father hit me. And that night, Doc came by the house and taped up my ribs. Doc’s voice brings me out of my reverie.

“Jefferson, you look bad, son. Come sit in the chair and let me look at you,” he says. I love to listen to Doc’s voice. It reminds me of that actor, Morgan Freeman.

“What happened,” he whispers close to my ear. “I don’t mean with Judge, but what did he hurt?”

I get up off the floor and gather my supplies. Dr.Burton watches me stumble to the sink, rinse the bowl, and load it in the dishwasher. I put the rag and paper towels in the trash. Oh shit, I’m going to be sick again. I turn on the water and garbage disposer to hide the sound as I puke into the sink. I rinse my face and then mouth and turn around to face Dr. Burton. The whole room tilts and I grab the counter to steady myself.

Dr. Burton looks at me. I can tell he wants to help. His knuckles have turned white from clutching his doctor bag so hard. And that is a strange thing to see: A black man turning white. But I know he won’t help because he learned his lesson the one and only time he tried.


  1. I love the imagery of the pink water and the action of your MC cleaning the blood from the floor. It's very vivid.

  2. That's dark! I also love the MC cleaning his own blood from the floor.

  3. That is really dark and morbid!
    I love it!

  4. Wow! This is an intense story! I can't wait to see what you do with it. The MC has so many issues and I wonder how she'll deal with them all. Great snip :)

  5. Whoa, nice and effective. I really like the last paragraph.

    "But I know he won’t help because he learned his lesson the one and only time he tried."


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